Since Fall of 2017, I’ve embarked on this deep spiritual journey to connect back to my roots. The roots that made me. Me. Not the Cydi that was created by the beliefs of my culture, what my parents told me, or the negative messages from my surroundings and society.
I had to re-discover the Cydi who was swayed to hide and wear a mask to fit in.
I had to connect to the Cydi within. The Cydi that’s been hiding, afraid of coming out to the light. As I consistently tried to build a relationship with her, she slowly started to come out. I cut off toxic relationships, and intentionally isolated myself to reflect. This was the beginning of my journey.
I spewed out these questions to the Universe.
What is my purpose?
Who Am I?
Oprah showed me the way to strengthening my connection to my inner spirit. I listened to her podcast Super Soul Sunday and many of her motivational videos. She helped me realize this.
Our purpose on earth is really to become the Highest, Best, Version of ourselves.
We have to envision the Grandest, Best Life for ourselves in order for it manifest into our reality.
Life isn’t perfect, but it never is. So, how can we make the best of it?
I began to meditate.
I got involved in a Buddhist Organization, where I gathered with others who sought to bring out happiness from within; wonderful beings.
My daily ritual is to sit on my yellow square cushion, in front of my mirror. I chant, then I thank the Universe, Ancestors, Protectors, and Spirit Guides, all bright and good beings that have paved the way and whom continues to guide me. I then speak about the things I need guidance on, and I ask them to continue to guide me to my purpose.
I began reading tarot cards to strengthen my intuition. This has been such an amazing experience and a great tool for me to learn about people and their struggles. Through tarot readings, I am able to help people find clarity, and give them some relief to voice out their troubles. I realize, I’m not the only one seeking.
As a freshman in high school, my mom urged me to start thinking about what I wanted to do after college.
I told her “I don’t know, but I just know, I want to help people.”
I always had a knowing. A knowing that I was here to help uplift people in some way. I just never knew quite what medium I was supposed to use. I knew I loved people and had a great compassion for them, especially a deep love for my Hmong people. Even in my darkest times, the only thing that kept me going was this strong sense of purpose. I knew the Universe brought me here for a great purpose. And if I give up now, I would not fulfill it. So I continued through the heaviness.
In times of darkness and suicidal tendencies, I also thought about the young girls in my life. How would my death affect them? Negatively. I had to continue living for them.
I truly live for others. I truly live through others, like a channel. I realized that.
The only reason I work on myself, is because in the end, I want to be able to help others.
People may cringe at the idea of spirituality and connecting something we cannot see with our eyes, but I believe, however you call this Higher Power, there is a Higher Power, that connects us all; the trees, the animals, and every group of people.
Duality, and labels have left us divided, but I believe this is all a big test for the human race to come together and love one another, and break this cycle of violence, war, and hate we put onto each other.
For me, Spirituality means the ability to connect yourself to the Source that powers our whole universe. And that starts within. The ability to connect to yourself, because we all have divinity within us. We were born with it. That bright divine light will always shine within us.
What the Universe truly wants for every human being is for us to find happiness on earth and live out our happiest best life. No one is better than the other.
Today, no matter how bad your situation is, know you were brought here for a specific purpose. Do not let the outside world tell you who you are. You are beautiful, vibrant, and you will persevere through. You will find happiness, only if you give yourself permission to attain it. Happy journeying.
Sending only Peace and Love
❤ Cydi-Wabi Sabi