As you all know, one of my dear friends passed away this week. Suddenly, all these wonderful memories of Pa Nhia rushed into my brain; her beautiful spirit and helpful personality. I wondered, why did it take for my friend to pass in order for me to think of her. This happens all too often, but her passing made me realize a few things.
Life is damn short and you might as well live it up
I’m not saying go out, get drunk, and party hard all your life. NO. I mean take chances. All those dreams and goals you’ve been sitting on. Stand up and take action. Today is the day to start working towards your dreams. You only fail when you give up. I had a major life crisis earlier today. I wondered, what was the point in doing good works? What was the point in making this world a better place? Why does it matter? Is it just an entertainment for the higher being above to see good and evil compete over and over? I felt so empty, meaningless, and confused. But then, my nephew’s smile popped into my mind. The video of my sister and I drinking sweet sake for her 30th birthday rolled into my Facebook feed. I saw her smile and my smile, and noticed pure happiness. I wondered. That must be how it feels to live, to love, to feel finally blissful.
Love the people who love you
My loved ones are no way near perfect. They’re closed off. They barely say “I love you.” They are so busy sometimes I wonder if they even think about me. But, it’s the little gestures I overlooked. When I think back, though my mama yelled every day and stressed me out with her stress, she goes to the ends of the earth for me. My dad still shows no emotion, but his warm smile and kind spirit has always made me feel loved ever since I was a kid. Even working until 12 am, he never hesitated to stop at Cubs to buy me a bucket of cookies and cream ice cream, my favorite flavor. In addition to my amazing parents, my sisters are awesome and are always there for me when I need someone to talk to. I’ve searched endlessly for years in hopes of finding someone who loves me, but I didn’t realize how loved I already was. Sure, they’re unsure on how to express it. Sure they can be hostile at times, but they are my family. I searched for love in all the wrong places, and the main thing I realized, I was already completely loved AND in order to receive any love, I had to love myself.
Always say I love you and hug your loved ones
Now, as I walk out the door, I make a conscious effort to hug every one and say I love you to all my family members, because I realize, human bodies are fragile. We die from car accidents, gunshots, a fall, a heart attack, choking, anything. So, in case something happens to me or my loved ones, I can feel assured I’ve expressed my love for them.
Thank God, Thank the Spirit, Thank whatever you want. Just be Thankful!
I remember to always say my thanks for the simple things. I am even more conscious now to cherish my moments with my loved ones, and to take things slower and enjoy life moments. Human beings are natural story tellers. We learn through stories. We need to stay present when our story is unfolding before our very eyes, or else we will not learn and we will not see the magic. I am thankful for my nephews’ and niece’s smiles, and the opportunity to see my younger sister grow into a young women.
My farewell words to you is, “Just Do It!” This day is like tomorrow, the next week and the next. There is NO POINT TO WAIT to do anything you want. Tell that boy you like him! Tell everyone you’re GAY! Apply for that dream job! Save for that vacation! Don’t wait to live life. As you sleep in your bed at the end of the night, this should be your last thought “If I died tomorrow, I would be okay with it, because I’ve lived to my best on this day.” So, my friend, LIVE.
❤ Wabi Sabi