Going against your mind; Auditioned for my first dance company at 21

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Hmong New Year 2017 Dance outfit

Winter of 2016, I walked into Asian Media Access, a dance studio in Minneapolis with my 15 year old cousin and 13 year old sister. I was 21, and it was my first time ever auditioning for a dance company. I always dreamed of dancing on stage, but my mind always told me I wasn’t good enough.  Looking like a fool on stage scared me enough to stay away from the spot light. But, because of my “Just Do It” motto, I built enough courage to audition.

When I walked into the building, all I saw were significantly younger girls with innocent smiles, hair placed perfectly in a bun. My heart raced. Thoughts bombarded my mind, Oh my gosh. I’m an old lady. I probably won’t be as good. I frantically whispered to my cousin, who danced for the company last year, that I couldn’t do it. I felt like this inside.

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The main thought that crossed my mind was, What if I look like a fool? Discouraging thoughts bounced off the walls of my brain screaming at me to RUN. I was ready to walk out, but my cousin calmed me down. She reminded me it was okay and there were older people there too and pleaded me to stay. So I did.

As we walked through the door of the audition room, they gave each girl a sticker with a number and we stuck it onto our shirts. When the audition began, all 70+ girls formed a circle in the studio and we went around telling our name, age, and years of dance experience. Most of them were 16, some older, mostly younger. I felt so much anxiety as it got closer and closer to me.

The audition consisted of stretching and doing requirements such as this:

They had three rounds of choreography, eliminating more dancers each time. After thirty minutes, my nerves calmed and I gave myself a pep talk. I believed in myself no matter what. Eventually, I moved onto the third round and was quite surprised wondering, hmmm maybe I’m better than I thought. Though I didn’t nail the last dance as well, I left the auditions feeling so proud of myself that I followed through. And of course, I made it into a dance group and jump started my passion for dance.

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(Dancing Mist) Hmong New Year 2016 Dance – I am third to the right

So the moral of the story is, though your mind tells you not to follow through with something, listen to your inner self and “Just Do It.” The more you go against your mind, the closer you will be towards finding your true self and your true calling. Our mind lies to us constantly in order to stay in control. Feel that other voice telling you to pursue and follow through. That is your true self fighting your mind. Your mind is not you. If you are confused by all this “mind” talk, stay tuned for my next post. I will explain it more in depth.

If I did not listen to my inner self and allowed my mind to scare me off, I would not be here dancing with the skills and confidence I have. I have more confidence to attend dance workshops and I’m now in another dance company on top of my first one. Listen to your inner self and don’t let your mind and thoughts discourage you from pursuing your passions!

Wabi Sabi 

Check out my dance videos below.

 

 

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Photo Credits to
Mally Yang

Wabi Sabi is a passionate writer and performative artist, who wants to utilize her talent to educate, awaken, and inspire you to find your truest, best, positive version of yourself.

She is driven to create works that will inspire us as human beings in this beautiful home we call earth, to be happier, healthier and aunthentic individuals.

Follow her on FacebookInstagram, and Youtube.

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